When I was like six my brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat and broke my nose and there was blood everywhere.

So a multitude of bad things happened today.

However if you read this blog it likely means you already know.

For the next few days until I figure out what to do I will post ridiculous stories (all true) in the hopes of not turning this into a twelve-year-old's LiveJournal.

Let's begin with the story summarized in the title.

So from the time I was 4 to 9 I lived in a really rural part of Georgia, my family had this farmhouse with a ton of land and a lake and woods and you couldn't even see our nearest neighbor except just barely in the winter when the leaves were gone. My brother and I were homeschooled so we really didn't have anybody to play with besides each other.

Anyway, so one day we were outside and I'm just wandering around in our gravel driveway and Nick is throwing bits of gravel up and hitting them with an aluminum bat. For some reason I end up walking behind him while he was swinging - in my defense I thought I was short enough that it would miss me, I was like a REALLY SHORT child - and all I really remember is feeling like a train hit me in the face.

So I had to have all this major surgery and wear a cast and everything while my nose healed up. However it wasn't nearly as bad as it sounds. The cast wasn't like what you see in bad movies or whatever where it's this Phantom of the Opera mask-thing that covers everything but your eyes, it was just this thing that was like the size of those nose strips you put on your face to keep you from snoring at night. And since I was only like SIX the bones bounced right back into place and kept growing the way they should so I don't have some weird crooked bird-face nose like Dumbledore or anything.

Oh Dumbledore.

Before I depress us all, here is a short comic that sums up my feelings for today in a cute and amusing way. Enjoy.

Source: butthorn.tumblr.com