On my seventh birthday we had this huge ice storm that shut down all our power and my mom ended up making my cake in an EZ-Bake Oven. Best birthday ever.

Short post tonight because I'm tired and feeling uninspired after wasting my entire day looking at baby wallaby .gifs.

BRIEF THOUGHTS

- There should be a game called "Infomercial" in which you see someone performing some menial task and you shout "INFOMERCIAL!" The person must then fail at their task in a hilarious and melodramatic fashion, and then cry "There's got to be a better way!" Observe.
Me: *putting pencils in a mug*
You: INFOMERCIAL!
Me: *proceeds to fumble with one pencil and then dumps the entire mug onto the floor*
Both of us: THERE'S JUST GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY.
(I then proceed to make you clean up all the pencils because it is your fault after all.)

- I tried watching Fullmetal Alchemist the other day and I am severely unimpressed.

- Mother bought strawberries for a cake or something and seems to have forgotten that I am HIGHLY ADDICTED TO any kind of berry whatsoever. Seriously. Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, cranberries, raspberries, lingonberries, I will eat any of them. I am exercising all of my self-control to not devour every single delicious berry. You should all be proud of me.

- I have a pink splotch on my shirt and I don't know where it came from and it looks like blood. Please send help.

- I desire a baby wallaby.

- I have a dog and his name is Jack and he is sleeping on my bed and TAKING UP ALL THE SPACE I MEAN HE'S A SCHNAUZER THEY'RE LIKE TWENTY POUNDS HOW IS HE DOING THIS

- I found a Popsicle in my freezer today and it had been there for so long it had practically fossilized into the wrapper. It was skinnier than my finger and there was LITERALLY NO JUICE in it at all. I felt so bad for it I couldn't even eat it. (Also it was like, disgusting.) So instead I sacrificed it to the Kitchen Gods. Fine, I dumped it in the sink. It was gross.

- I had a dream that a giant spider came out from under my couch and chased me around the house while I was screaming for help and my family was just like "lindsey calm down there is nothing chasing u lol, u so funny" and this HUGE ASS BLACK WIDOW SPIDER THE SIZE OF A COLLIE was bashing my door in until I hid in the bathroom and tried to spray it with the shower head. It was traumatic.

- SCIENCE. If you're too lazy to click on the link I'll go ahead and sum it up. *takes deep breath* So there was this frog that went extinct back in the 80s and it was a really cool frog where the mommy would eat her babies and they would actually grow up IN HER STOMACH and then she'd just puke them all up and send them to school and such and right before they went extinct some scientists froze a couple of them and RECENTLY they took some other eggs from this other species of frog that's kind of related and *pant pant pant pant* then they erased those eggs' DNA and put the extinct frog's DNA in it and THEY GREW EMBRYOS OF THIS EXTINCT SPECIES and yeah okay the embryos died later but THEY MADE THEM HAPPEN ANYWAYican'tbreatheohgodhelp

- Since I began writing this blog post I have eaten three strawberries. I AM POWERLESS AGAINST THEIR BERRY CHARMS.

- In the end I spent most of my weekend watching Netflix and looking at things on the Internet that I greatly desire but will never have enough money for.

NOW TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WEEKEND.