So... This Is Blogging, Huh

My name is Lindsey.

So I'm starting a blog.

I probably shouldn't.

I mean, who cares about one more misanthropic teenage girl blogging about nothing in particular?

BUT WAIT

I shall make you a pledge, O people of the Blogosphere.

I PLEDGE to not shamelessly plug my fledgling photography business (I don't even have one. I don't even like taking pictures of anything).

I PLEDGE that I will never Instagram my food and make that my daily post.

I PLEDGE that I will post only minimal pictures of my pet, because he is friggin' adorable, that's why.

I PLEDGE not to drag my personal life into the blog unless it makes a funny story or there is photographic evidence.

I PLEDGE not to gush about my boyfriend (or girlfriend if I find myself in an experimental college phase).

I PLEDGE that I will never link you to a Taylor Swift song because "dis iz how i feelz @ dis momentt!!1!!" If anything I will link you to that one Opeth song I can't stop listening to in hopes that the I-Will-Get-Every-Song-You-Hear-Stuck-In-Your-Head demon will be exorcised from my brain along with it.

I PLEDGE that I will not shamelessly plug anything unless it's super funny, something I desperately want my parents to buy me, or the people I'm plugging are giving me tons of free shit to do so.

I PLEDGE that I will not drag my religion into anything. (But seriously. CONVERT TO THE HOLY CHURCH OF PEETA MELLARK.)

I PLEDGE that, while I may babble on endlessly about such a fandom as Doctor Who, Harry Potter, or Supernatural, I will also take care to not spoil anything to anyone who does not wish such things to be spoiled. EVEN IF I DID LOVE HAGRID AND HIS DEATH IN BOOK SIX WAS TRAGICALLY UNCALLED FOR AND WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE PERCY WEASLEY WHO SHOT HIM?! Ahem.

I PLEDGE that I will always run Spellcheck, even though I am a communications major and therefore feel like a professional biker who is forced to use training wheels.

I PLEDGE that I will most adoringly love and pet and reply to any and all comments that I see.

I PLEDGE to have the vocabulary of your average crab fisherman, so that my parents and preacher will be deterred from following me.

I CANNOT PLEDGE that anything I blog about is going to be interesting or relevant or even coherent. This is mostly just a place where I can rant into empty space without fear of judgment. Because seriously, this is the Internet - we're the least judgy people in the world. If you want to "like" One Direction's fan page, well, I'm sure you can hook up with some people who feel the same way. As long as you don't like Nickelback or the Phantom Menace, the Internet will accept you. (Psssst! Hey! Don't tell anybody but I really never understood why everyone hated the Phantom Menace. Baby Anakin was adorable.)

I PLEDGE that I will try my darndest to blog as much as possible. I'm an unemployed college student with far too much time on her hands, so this'll probably be easy, but I'm pledging it anyway. It needs to be pledged. Not the lemon kind. That's my dresser. My dresser needs to be lemon Pledged. We need more lemon Pledge.

I PLEDGE that there will not always be strange obscure references like "We need more lemon Pledge" in all my posts. Frequently yes, but not always.

I PLEDGE that I will not go on and on about my school. Yes I'm in college and yes it's a big deal to me but it's not a big deal to you so you guys don't care so I'll shut up about it. Unless something TOTALLY BITCHIN' happens, like someone gets shot in the parking deck. AGAIN.

That's pretty much it. See ya tomorrow.

Blessings of the Church of Peeta upon you. May your bread never burn.